Give Glen His Voucher!

By One Utah's Glenden Brown

I have a cousin who has 8 children, all 8 of whom attended public school. By contrast, I don’t have 8 children.

None of the 8 children I don’t have attended public school. According to Parent’s for Choice in education, every year one of the 8 children I don’t have wasn’t in public school, I saved the school system $5500. By my math, that means I’ve saved State of Utah $572,000. In light of that almost $600,000 in savings, I think I should qualify for $3000 per child voucher to cover the expense of not sending the 8 kids I don’t have to public school. The 8 kids I don’t have have collectively not attended 104 years of public school. A $3000 per child voucher per year comes up to $312,000. To whom should I submit my invoice for my vouchers? Please send my “vouchers” in the form of unmarked, $1o0 bills.

Come to think of it, I have a neighbor with 12 kids all of whom attended public school. I don’t have 12 children either. So maybe, I didn’t send 12 children to the public schools, and should receive vouchers to cover the cost of not sending 12 kids to the public schools. Heck, I could use $468,000 of tax payers money to cover the expense of not sending 12 kids to public school.

You know, actually, my parents know a family with 14 children and I don’t have 14 children . . .

Hat tip: BoB AaGarD