Monday, February 11, 2008

A Nightmare on Sylvia's Street

That's right folks, Freddy's back, and I'm not talking about Freddy Krueger.

Rumors have it, and The Utah Amicus predicts, that Fred LaVar Christensen will attempt to reclaim Utah House Seat 48 which is currently being held by Rep. Sylvia S. Anderson of Sandy, Utah.

Many of you may remember that Freddy held this seat before his 2006 ill-fated run to unseat Second District Congressman Jim Matheson. But, just like Freddy Krueger, LaVar's ambition has been resurrected so he can force his revenge on those Utah voters who overwhelmingly decided that Utah needed America just as much as America needed Utah. And, it's pretty easy to guess that Freddy will stop short of nothing to take back what he believes is his turf.

Last week Freddy was spotted on Capitol Hill, sneaking around the Utah House Chamber scraping his metal-clawed leather glove on Rep. Anderson's desk causing Sylvia to have recurring nightmares about a bloody convention attack in May of 2008.

Today, Freddy was seen sneaking into the Salt Lake County Clerk's office where he obtained District 48 maps and other pertinent materials that one would need if they were indeed planning a early May massacre.

Will Rep. Anderson face her fears and stand-up and defeat Freddy at convention, or will she let Freddy's nightmares keep her under her bed's covers, shivering in fear, allowing Freddy a spot on November's ballot without a fight?

Either way, we predict a win for our Democratic nominee who will be immune to Freddy's Nightmares since we are already aware and have experienced of all of Freddy's dirty little tricks.

To be fair, this could only be a bad dream, but I wouldn't discount our prediction of Freddy's imminent return, one that should forever be remembered as, A Nightmare on Sylvia's Street.


Jesse Harris said...

I wouldn't shed a tear to lose Rep. Anderson. I've found her to be largely unresponsive and all too willing to be the Utah Republican stereotype. All the same, going back to Lavar seems like a major downgrade.

Rob said...

I promise the candidate running on the Democratic ticket will be an upgrade Jesse.

Anonymous said...

Lavar’s humor, intelligence and sage wisdom is missed at the legislature.

He will be welcomed back with open arms as who fights for was is right and represents the best that Utah has to offer.

Anonymous said...

As someone who lives in White City, I had no idea who the heck our Legislature was until Sylvia Andersen ran for office. As far as her being unresponsive, I have had a reply to every call and email that I have sent her. Granted she has interns that check her email for her and then forward the messages on to her. Obviously Jesse offended one of the interns and he decided not to forward the email. Regarding LaVar Christensen, what humour, intelligence and sage wisdom. He got his ass filleted and handed back to him for being the pugnacious, irritating lurp that he is. I don't know who this woman running for the democrats is other then I have already heard she has nasty campaigning tactics. One thing for Sylvia Andersen, win or lose she comes out on top. She won't sit and cry and say oh poor me unlike LaVar who has been crying his eyes out since he lost the to Matheson in 2006.