In a stunning announcement, the Apostle Paul, author of several books in the New Testament, has formally endorsed the efforts of Parents for Choice in Education in fighting back Big Union efforts to destroy the future of Utah schoolchildren.
When the fiery Apostle learned of the wealthy ideologues’ plight, he granted them leave to quote on their web site any scripture they liked to bolster their followers. “What better way to battle the forces of Big Union than to quote the Holy Book. I am so pleased with their dedication to conveying the sacred word in these trying times.”
The witness continued, “I’m particularly pleased they chose the phrase in Galatians 9:6 ‘never weary in well doing.’ I’m gratified to see them include this simple message on their web site and I hope it provides a much-needed boost to those tired disciples battling Big Union and their sheep-like minions, the public school teachers of Utah.”
In response to questions of mixing public policy with church worship, the champion of righteousness responded, “Although I’ve never been a big fan of politics and religion combining forces after that whole Pharisee fiasco, I confess I was drawn in once they explained to me the nefarious deeds of Big Union and their anti-child agenda. Big Union *says* they actually like children. Their drone-like members *say* they teach because they want what’s best for their students. But I know it’s all a lie. They are actually Agrippa-like power mongers who are intent on depriving parents of their constitutional right to receive money in exchange for sending their children to a private school. What could be more reprehensible than that?”
Joseph Smith, first prophet of the Dispensation of the Fulness of Times, also lent his ringing endorsement to the group’s efforts. In a brief statement, the Prophet proclaimed “When I, through revelation, quoted the Apostle Paul in Section 64 of the Doctrine and Covenants, I could see a real boost in morale amongst the Brethren headed out to Missouri to face certain persecution. It’s heartwarming for me to see that Parents for Choice has ‘likened the scriptures’ to their own struggles against Big Union. I wish them well.”
President Hinckley could not be reached for comment.
9 comments:
This is the funniest and saddest thing I've read in a long time. Too bad satire is so close to the truth that it can't just be funny, but turns out to be sad.
So this is what qualifies as humor on the left.
People use religious expressions on a daily basis.
- writing on the wall (Daniel 5)
- salt of the earth
- turn the other cheek (Sermon on the Mount)
- eye for an eye (Exodus 21)
- the powers that be (Romans 13:1)
- swords into ploughshares (Joel 3:10)
Source: wikipedia.org (biblical phrases)
You can use biblical expressions without being criticized unless some uptight liberal realizes the origin of the expression is scriptural.
LOL - lighten up, anonymous. This is funny. It's called satire.
Dude,
As the first anonymous said, this qualifies as humor on the left.
For the rest of us, it's not any more humorous than the corny jokes we hear at General Conference.
I don't call this satire. It's more like an attempt at satire. Satire by definition is supposed to be funny.
It's also a double standard. When the left uses biblical phrases (usually unknowingly), it's no big deal. When the right uses it, it's all part of a religious conspiracy because we can assume that they are using biblical phrases KNOWINGLY.
If this is left humor than this Republicn is moving towards the left.
This article makes a clear point, and hits the mark.
Isa. 32: 5, 8
5 The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful.
James 1: 5
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Alma 6: 5
5 Now I would that ye should understand that the word of God was liberal unto all, that none were deprived of the privilege of assembling themselves together to hear the word of God.
In the original economic sense, "liberal" meant free markets, small government, low taxes, etc.
A classical liberal like Milton Friedman would support vouchers over the current system
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