Monday, June 12, 2006

Corroon Golf Classic, "I'll Be Back!"

I can't play golf, yet. Not because I'm truly awful (I pray), I just have never really learned how. I can count the times I have played golf on my two hands (or by using one hand twice). So I had to ask myself why did I have so much fun last Friday at the Corroon Golf Classic held at The Old Mill Golf Course on 6080 South Wasatch Blvd?

Was it the mountain scenic overlook of our great Salt Lake Valley, or was it the panoramic view of the western, mid-day sun breaking through the rain-dark clouds? Could it have been playing stunt driver on the wet fairways and hills, knowing that Democratic Chair Wayne Holland Jr. was enjoying the four wheeling just as much as I? Maybe it was the look on Mike Reberg's face after landing his ball closest to the pin, beating Mayor Corroon's best by sinking his shot for birdie?

The truth is all of these factors played a part in making the Corroon Golf Classic a great success, but the real reason I had so much fun had to be spending time with three Corroon supporters, all of whom can actually play the game, and who after swinging their irons, could 25 percent of the time find the same ball they drove down the fairway (Pat Shea was reported to have found eight balls on the course, seven of which were probably mine).

I want to thank Mike Reberg (State Director for Congressman Matheson), Wayne Holland, and Kelly Ann (Just passed the Bar) Booth for a great day, a day which might have been perfect had not Mayor Corroon yelled "CHOKE!" after my attempt to best Mike Reberg's prize winning shot ended up flying so beautifully, and delicately, into the sparkling waters known as the waterhole of no return.

We raced to finish our last hole, but the rain and lightning returned as the image of a priest from a movie called "Caddyshack" came to my mind. It was here that I suggested that maybe the time had come, to go.

As I drove home that day I fixated on that one great drive, the one that soared into the sky, and landed in some millionaires backyard, clear across Wasatch Drive. It did not matter where it landed, just that it had been launched with such power, and grace, and that it was now free from the coveting grip of Mr. Pat Shea! This image stayed with me all the way home, as did the vision of redemption that will happen next year when I beat Reberg''s shot, and make Mayor Corroon choke in amazement, when I take my best swing, and win the closet to the pin, and then sink it for birdie! Everyone will be cheer at my success, and all will be well in the world.

"Miller Really Sucks!"

So you two already have a foursome?

Look what I won!

Beat That Reberg!

But do you actually have my signature on a document explaining appropriate
cart behavior?

Look what I won!

Look Shea, this watch is worth at least six of your balls!

Here's one Shea missed!

The End!


Bob said...

I'm a terrible golfer.

Of course, I've never played a round in the state of Utah. Several times in Idaho and a round in Minnesota.

One of these days, I'm going to have a golf fundraiser, a minigolf fundraiser.

That's a game I'm good at.

Anonymous said...

Rob Miller??!! Golfing??!! What next Uncle Joe Boom Boom saying something that makes sense?? Look Uncle Joe none of the $3000.00 fine is going into your pocket no matter what that idiot Karl said. Uncle Joe, a term from WWII to single out another despot who would trample freedom and justice in the world.